“The Garden”

You’re never supposed to ask a lady how old she is, but because it’s important to the following story of me, I am going to save you the awkward faux pas and just tell you. I am 52 …wait. What’s going on? Why can’t I type the number 52 ?…SERIOUSLY!? I can’t type 52 without it being redacted?…52 52 52 52 52 52 ! Let me try and spell the number. Fifty-Two…arrrrgghh! Ok, I’m older than 51 and younger than 53…

Anyway, I tried. On with my blog.

Call it a mid-life crisis, or a rut, or a longing for something else. Whatever it was, it hit me hard in 2021…hey look! I can type a number! 52 I am 52 …darn it! Remind me to submit an IT ticket…Anyway, I was in a job that was sucking the soul right out of me. I had to give myself a pep-talk every morning just to bring myself to get in the car, then the same pep-talk was had in the parking lot when I arrived. Ruts are a funny thing, the cause of the rut rut’s every other thing that shouldn’t be in a rut. My attitude, my outlook on life, my relationships. I was crashing and burning. My family took notice, my husband especially. One day he said “why don’t you just stay home today and do whatever you want to do.” So, I did, and I did. I picked up a paint brush for the first time in my life with the intent to just get lost in the process and create. What a release! Some good tunes playing on the background, the house empty with nothing but me and my canvas. The result is my painting, “The Garden” pictured above.

While I only did this for me, obviously when my husband came home that day he saw it. I can’t remember his exact response and words, but I do remember that started some wheels in motion that has lead me to where I am now in terms of my art journey. But not only my art journey, my life’’s whole trajectory changed that day as well.

Christmas that year was surprising to me. The gifts I received from my family all revolved around art. Paints, canvases, brushes. It was both a hint and encouragement that what was not ever a part of my life before should be pursued and enjoyed further, not just a “one and done” thing. My rut got a little less deep. So much so that I could peer above its edges to see a new world once hidden from me. I just needed to climb out completely and explore it.

Leap of faith time.

With my husbands encouragement and willingness to ride the wave with me, it was time to de-rut. Have you ever quit a job before? Sure, lots of us have. Have you ever quit a job with such satisfaction turning in your letter of resignation that you thought you would giggle with glee as you hand delivered it? Oh boy. That moment felt like I breathed new air for the first time in a long time. The world…,well, my world, shifted that day.

Exit leap of faith time, enter Panic Mode. I replaced my cushy state pay with cushy state benefits, with a not so much cushy job. Took a pay cut, lost some bennies. We made some adjustments, reassessed priorities, and are doing just fine. Change can be a scary thing. But do you know what is even more scary than that? Not taking that leap and being doomed to your comfort-zone…My wings have spread from being tucked away for so long, and the journey I am on now brings me joy and fulfillment that is filled with color and adventure. My family is on the journey with me too!

While my painting skills have changed and progressed, my technique hasn’t much at all. To enjoy the moment and the process of creation. When I tell people I have only been painting for a few short years they can’t seem to believe it at first, which is very flattering. It also reinforces my choices and chances I have taken to get here, and here is where I belong.

And that my friends, is how this 52 year old woman became an artist.